Wednesday, October 26, 2011

My daughter Abish,
It is one year today from the day we said goodbye to you. As i did for your brother Ammon, I want to write my message to you on what would have been your first birthday.
Much has happened during this past year, some good and some not. But all of it effected by our memory of you and your untimely passing. Each important event that passes leaves me imagining what it would have been like if you were here with us.
My thoughts turn to you much more often than anyone knows, and I find myself reliving the day of your birth over and over. I recall each detail and the feelings of that day flood over me as if it were now. I review the words of your blessing and the feeling of Love that filled me as I gave you your very special name. I wish each time I recall that prayer that I could have called upon the powers of heaven to breath life into your failing body. Those words were not to be. Heavenly Father would not give them to me to speak.
When your brother Ammon passed I found myself focused more than ever on being a better father for your brother Andrew and then later Aaron. Your passing has given me a determination to fight with all my heart to keep our little family together. This is the only way I know to guarantee we will all be able to be together again and that is my singular desire. Having given you back to Heavenly Father's care, I must now do all in my power to bring us all together so that we can reunite as the Eternal Family He has made of us.
Though I miss you every day, I will always be gratefull for the memory of the moments we spent together. The strength you have given me to press on in spite of all obstacles. The spirit that you brought into that room the moment you arrived. Those will always be sacred moments when the veil between Heaven and earth felt so thin. I will always remember the feeling of your tiny body in my hand, and how your presence effected everyone who entered that room. And most of all I am grateful for the knowledge Heavenly Father has given me to know who you and your brother were and why you did not stay here with us. This gift has brought me a peace that I could not have gained in any other way.
I must close for now, but please know sweet Abish that you are in my thoughts daily, and my heart eternally. We will be together again and it will be a glorious day for all of us. I look forward with anticipation to watching you grow to your full stature, and seeing the joy in your mother's eyes as she finally has the chance to be all that she dreams of with you and Ammon.
Abish, I Love You now and for all eternity. Watch over us.
Your loving father

Pumpkin Walk @ West Haven Park (October 24). Aaron dressed up as Elmo and Andrew as Lightning McQueen Pit Crew.

Ammon would have been 4 on October 22. We miss him everyday and love him dearly. Happy Birthday little guy!

From the cemetery we drove down to the Canyon to see the fall leaves. The boys had fun playing with the leaves.

After going to the canyon we had dinner and when we came home we had cake. Wished Ammon is with us.

Last Friday (Oct 21), we were carving pumpkin that we picked from the pumpkin patch. Aaron wanted his pumpkin to be a blue puppy and Andrew was spider. We also did footprints for Ammon and Abish. We had fun that night.