Tuesday, October 21, 2008



Yes I am pregnant. I just found out today. I know having a baby is a blessing and I'm excited to know that I'm pregnant again but at the same time I am overwhelmed. All these times, the death of Ammon kept on haunting me even worse now that I know I'm pregnant. I have a lot of fears, a lot of what if's (what if the same thing will happen again etc.). Tomorrow will be exactly a year since Ammon's birth and death. A lot of people told me that I just have to move on but nobody will ever understand me unless they're a mother who have experienced the same thing. I will always love my Ammon and will forever have difficulty with the memories of that fateful day but I'm hoping that this pregnancy will somehow allow me to finally heal the immeasurable pain inside. I pray that Heavenly Father will bless me throughout my pregnancy and that He'll bless me with a healthy baby.